Bisexuality

Mine is pretty lame. I was 16 years old. I’m now 18. I was scared to death to tell my mom but one night when she got home from work I finally did it. I said mom I’m gay and she goes for real? I said yeah. She goes oh honey I’ve known since you were ten that you were gay, now what do you want for dinner. I love how casual she was about it.

The first person I came out to was my best friend Eloisa , who just happens to be a lesbian, so of course she took it well. The next person I told was another best friend of mine, Francesca, I’m pretty sure she’s straight but she’s pretty open minded and took it well also. After those experiences went so well I told two of my most openminded guy friends. It took a while to explain to them exactly what it tis to be pansexual but Nat finally gets it. Connor just thinks I’m a lesbian and practically makes fun of me for it.

The worst thing about coming out as pansexual is that people think I’m denying the fact that I’m a lesbian (like Connor), or just going through a phase (as Nat first thought), or that I’m trying to make a big deal out of being bisexual.

I later came out to a few more of my friends but out of all of the people I’ve told I feel as if only one understands me. I thought Elosia would be the one that I could talk to, after all she does have some experience coming out. But she can never understand how it feels to be in the closet in a conservative-christian environment when she goes to an school where half of the kids are gay.

The next person I thought I would

able to talk to is my best friend Francesca. Well, she’s witnessing me have a crush on a girl for the first time in her life and finally realizes how real my situation is. I think she’s a little jealous that I’m spending so much time with my crush and a little confused as she’s never witnessed one of her female friends liking another female.

The one person I can actually talk to happens to be  friend of mine named Tess. We don’t spend that much time together but we text a lot, and seems to be the only person I’ve told that doesn’t think I’m weird.

All in all, so far, my coming out experience hasn’t been that great. I’m pretty sure I’ve lost two of my friends and am on the verge of loosing another if I don’t do something fast. I thought it would be easier to come out to my friends but I was forgetting that most of my friends are conservative christians. Now I wish that I never said anything. I know for a fact that I’ll never be able to tell my homophobic family. What I’ve learned from all of this is that I probably shouldn’t come out until I’m in college, or somewhere else far away and more accepting.

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